You don’t know love until the thing or person you love has been ripped from you. You don’t know pain until you have to live with it every day of your life in a vicious cycle that you can’t escape. You don’t know hate until the one that tears you apart piece by piece is standing in front of you and you have to smile like you care about them. You don’t know anger until you have to hide who you really are. You don’t know sorrow until you hold onto the only thing that keeps you going in unending tears because you can’t even stand next to them in the street. You don’t know hope until it has all died out and you have no reason left to be alive. You don’t know secrets until you have to lie your way through hell just to be able to do what you want to do. You don’t know what it’s like to be the only one that knows the truth, but then have it all taken away from you like it never existed.
I don’t know how to tell you what I know. I just know that it is not easy and one of my burdens to carry was the fact that I had to be someone I’m not, to protect a love only I knew of, to sell myself to a crowd that screamed my name when they had no idea what was really going on. I had to put myself in the limelight when the real me lived in the shadows and only in the dark was I able to breathe again for I uncovered under the covers in the comfort of my room. I shared my secret with one other person and that person was the other half of me. You have no idea what I’m talking about but I will tell the tale of how my miserable life turned into a butterfly that bloomed and finally made it to paradise. There is a way out of your troubles. It might take days, weeks, and months…..even years. But it all works out in the end. I believe that everything happens for a reason and the reason is that if it wasn’t for the love of my life I would be nowhere.
He kept me strong. With him I was strong. I never meant to tell anyone this. I never meant to show the world the whole truth at first because it had been a crime in the first place. Loving this man had brought tears to my eyes. I cannot see my life without him. We were sworn apart, having to hide our love. I told myself I’d never again feel the agony of lying and denying the truth. So this is the truth. Ignorance is bliss. Love makes you do crazy things, but it isn’t love that is wrong. It is the people that tell you it is wrong that is the real problem. Never waste a moment to tell someone you love them. Never lie about how you really feel inside. Never pretend to be someone you are not.
Never hide love.
Because I know all too well the danger of loving someone who the world told me not to.